Cake of a Lifetime?!?

I was asked to make a weddingcake by a friend of a friend who had some leftover birthdaycake I had made for her last year. Apparently she liked it a lot and she asked me to do her weddingcake. I was really flattered and said yes. I was super excited and oh so happy to talk to an actuall bride about her cake and the design of it, that it first hit me in the supermarket "I am making cake for 83 people!". Thank god for pinterest, google and good friends who all assured me, that what I had planned, and shopped for, was enough to feed all their guests. About 40 eggs, 500 grams cocoa,  1,5kg butter a whole lot of sugar, flower, marshmallows and rasberries later the cake weighed 11,5kg. How much cake can 83 people really eat?

I made a very rich choccolat cake filled it with italien rasberry buttercream, covered it in marshmallow fondant and decorated it with roses that I also made out of marshmallow fondant.

 About the very scary thought that this cake was probably the most important cake of their life, perhaps beeing remembered for a long time by many people, I just tried to forget about it, gave it my very best and hoped it would be enough. 

As with every project I learned a lot that I could do better next time. But most importantly I learned that I am capable of doing such a huge project and I do need to remember how good I felt after I delivered the finished cake to a very happy bride.

In case you wonder: they have now told me that they were very happy with the cake  but did not mention it not beeing enough to feed all their guests. And they would have done that, wouldn`t they?


Blogging And Me or How To Overcome Fear

I am afraid there is something rather big you have to know about me:

I am a perfectionist and lately I have been huge on self doubt.

Let me tell you, this is not a good combination. I started this Blog for two reasons: To keep track of everything I do and to force myself to be a bit more organized. Unfortunately nothing I do is ever good enough for myself. If it is not the actual product its the pictures or whatever I do or don´t want to say about it. Knowing that this is public while not knowing the potencial audience and wether you judge me and what I do as harshly as I do, really doesn´t help. As a result my enthusiasmus for this project turned into a lot of stress and I abandoned it. I prooved my self doubt right and left myself dissapointed and scared.

Do I really have to have it all figured out to move forward? Or can I make mistakes and learn from them as I go?

If I want to judge myself for blogging badly, I still have to do it first. If I am afraid I won´t to a good job, doing no job really isn´t the right consequence. Whatelse will make me good at this if not the practice of doing it? It seems the only way to overcome my fear of failure is to do it anyways. Otherwise I will have failed by default, which definitely would be worse.

Didn´t I say follow the taste was a quest for my happy place? Who says I can´t pursuit that while figuring out how to be a blogger?

If anyone is really reading this: What are you scared of? Have you ever felt like you are standing yourself in the way? How do you deal with that?


back again

I spend the last year soul searching, learning to look at life in a whole new way, meeting increadibly strong people, I tried some new things, perfected some of what I already knew and I am now back to wanting to share what I do.

Ich habe das letzte Jahr mit Selbstfindung verbracht, gelernt das Leben mit neuen Augen zu betrachten, unglaublich starke Menschen getroffen, habe einige neue Dinge ausprobiert, manche Dinge um die ich schon wusste verbessert und bin nun zurück mit dem Wunsch zu teilen was ich tue.